The woman texting Melrose Bloem this week hesitates for a long time before hitting send. She has been sitting on her couch for hours with a knot in her stomach. Things are not right between her and her partner, but she doesn’t dare share her struggle with anyone around her. “I can’t talk to anyone about this; I hope maybe you have time,” she finally sends.
Bloem is receiving messages like this more and more often. The lawyer and peer support specialist recently launched a listening line for women trapped in toxic or potentially narcissistic relationships. Through the service, they can share their stories anonymously via WhatsApp or over the phone.
With 25 years of experience as a lawyer, Bloem sees women in complex or unsafe relationships every day. She notes that professional women, in particular, often remain invisible. “They look strong on the outside,” she says. “But behind closed doors, they live with a lot of pain. On a small island, the fear that your story will get around is very real.”
Narcissistic abuse
Bloem recognizes the questions these women ask not only from her legal practice but from her own life. Having survived a period of narcissistic abuse herself, she later trained to become a professional peer support specialist.
“You aren’t automatically an expert just because you’ve lived through it,” she explains. “You must first be able to carry your own story. Only then can you truly guide someone else.” She believes this combination of professional knowledge and lived experience is what makes women feel truly seen when they call.
When a relationship morphs into a pattern
Many women who reach out aren’t initially sure what is happening. They wonder if their relationship is simply going through a difficult patch or if something is structurally wrong. In a narcissistic relationship, Bloem almost always identifies the same cycle.
“It starts like a fairy tale,” she says. “That is followed by periods where the partner humiliates, becomes jealous, and isolates the other. Then comes the stage where he claims to regret it and wants to start over.” This pattern makes it incredibly difficult to leave. “Many women stay because they are waiting for that ‘good phase’ to return.”
Relational violence is growing in Curaçao
Police have already registered 293 reports of relational violence this year—more than in the previous two years combined. Support organizations emphasize that many incidents are never reported and that many women simply don’t know where to turn.
According to Bloem, women often wait a long time before seeking help. “They are afraid that even a professional might share their story,” she says. “Many women tell me they don’t feel safe speaking openly.”
Advice from friends and family can also backfire. “Women often hear, ‘Why don’t you just leave?’ After a reaction like that, they stop talking altogether.” This silence is what worries Bloem most. “Isolation is exactly what someone with controlling behavior wants to achieve.”
A first safe step
The listening line offers a safe space for women to open up and share their stories without being judged. “They don’t always call because they want to leave,” says Bloem. “Mainly, they just want to be heard.”
Sometimes, after a conversation, she provides a small task to help the caller regain a sense of control over her situation. Women can message her throughout the day, and she usually schedules longer calls for the afternoon. “If something is urgent, I respond as soon as there is an opening.”
‘I feel a little less alone for a moment’
At the end of the day, the woman who texted earlier finally calls. She talks for nearly an hour about her fear, an argument from that afternoon, and her doubts about how much longer she can endure the situation. After the call, Bloem sends her a small task to complete. A little later, a message pops up: “Thank you. I feel a little less alone for a moment.”
Women can make contact via WhatsApp or phone: +5999 737 6652.
The number serves as both a business WhatsApp and a landline.
